A birthday wish, twenty years in exile and one day to renew the one moment in which I was born. Today I forget about my worries, my past, and my sense of wrong. I walk down the empty halls of my home and sense the eager memories that live in each birthday and each time anyone has had to sing. Twenty cakes and not one candle left, some of us after a sense of family, a social community, others after material objects and resources that find themselves in better situations with better clothing, healthier food, and longer lives. Some are after both, some live searching for none, and others are never given a chance, they’re never even a thought when it comes to one single day. No family, no sense of belonging, no capital to make another year worthwhile. That’s as if I sit here surrounded by caring loving people who wish to show their generosity and kindness in gifts and celebration while I know it’s just another birthday. Celebrating numbers and experiences that are simple enough to count and complex enough to hear about.
As of today, I am no longer the image of an adolescent, I no longer have the attitude to think of myself as being young or innocent. Closer and closer to being forever and adult, mentally and physically. I am losing a piece of myself and gaining another, I cannot live without it now, a new identity, a new piece to an old sense of self. I won’t argue, it feels wonderful to be acknowledged, to be loved and cared for, to have your worth shown for the better, that way you may show your better side to the world. Another birthday down and out, another year blown out, another day to let heal among the beautiful scars, it’s a majestic consequence of being alive, feeling alive, and living.
No need to feel or be pessimistic, especially today, no matter what, no matter what is, no matter what was, I have to make what can be and live what will be my reality alone. From here a new decade begins and another ends.